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Thursday, October 20, 2011

The Secret That Married Women Aren't Telling You

Married women will understand how difficult it is to stay married. Marriage pushes women to the extremes - you're either throwing dishes at each other or twiddling your thumbs from the mundanity. You may find yourself in weird situations - a threesome, cheating or being cheated, your husband telling you he's gay after 30 years together.


With all the hurdles of marriage, it's no wonder that divorce rates are skyrocketing.
But in the end, all married women have that dream of growing old with their spouses. They want to be the old wrinkly couple holding hands in the park that younger women aspire to.
So how do you have a long-lasting marriage?
These tips may not tell you how to have a happy marriage, but they will show you support systems to keep you trying.

1. Endurance

The key of any long-lasting marriage is endurance. You and your husband are human beings. Googgly-eyed love once masked all flaws.
But after 25 years, it's unlikely that you can ignore all the rough edges. In fact, those things that you once found endearing are probably the things that are driving you crazy.
Things may or may not get better. But without endurance to last through rough patches, you will never know.

2. Have a life outside the home

According to Iris Krasnow, author and assistant professor in the School of Communication at American University, the happiest wives have 'a sense of purpose and passion in work and cause outside of the home'.
In other words, have a life outside your home. Don't circle your life around your husband. Wives who count on their husbands alone for fulfillment and attention often found themselves disappointed, alone and angry.

3. Have some space

As you probably already know, any healthy relationship needs space. According to Krasnow, the happiest wives are those that don't spend every waking and sleeping moment with their husbands.
These are the women who are independent, can take their own vacations and make their own decisions.
Couples who allow each other to grow separately are the ones that are best able to grow together.
And probably won't get on each other's nerves as much.

4. Have girlfriends

A lot of wives have this impression that girlfriends should fall away after marriage.
This is incredibly wrong.
Your girlfriends are the people who help you vent your marital frustrations. They provide you a support system that will help you weather through the toughest times of your marriage.
So if you want to grow old with your husband, make sure some close girlfriends are growing old with you too.

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